I have a confession to make.
Everything I have written on this site about how wonderful riding a bicycle is, how easy and empowering it is…it’s all just been one big lie. It all seemed a good idea at the time. “Aspiration” is how I liked to think of it, phrase it. I realise now that the lie has gotten so big and complex that even I have started to believe it.
I thought I was doing myself and others a favour. What a quaint concept. It all began years ago, when I stopped riding like a warrior, like a two-wheeled motor vehicle. I learned to chose my routes carefully. I took the slow, indirect routes in order to avoid ‘space conflict’ with the more powerful, dominant road users. I deferred to these faster, dominant road users when it felt necessary to do so.
I’m now reassessing my options. It may be to find employment that is on a bus route, and reduce my riding to endless loops around the local park on weekends. Resort to ‘A to A’ cycling. Tie my bicycle to the back of the car and go somewhere that is car-free.
My faith in humanity has dipped. I feared for my life today. Actually. The motorist saw an obstacle on the road that was impeding her progress to the child care centre. I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I wasn’t doing anything different than what I have done everyday, for the last 10 years.
I was on a ‘designated’ cycle route. It’s a ‘rat-run’. Actually. It runs parallel to 8 fucking lanes of motorway. This is a story that, for the first time, have kept from my loved ones. I don’t want them to worry about me. I will just let slip one day that I have taken a new job…a change is as good as a break. You know.
If you see the driver of the Blue Toyota DNU62, tell her I’m doing ok. I’m just in the process of making some life changes.